Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Make it work!

So here is a  little sliver of daily life from the other day....

For those that don't know me incredibly well, I need to keep my sh$t organized : so what that really means is at night I need to have packed lunches for the 2 tiny humans, make sure mia's uniform is all ironed up, have Brayden's clothes out, pack my work bag, pack my lunch bag, and pack my gym bag (if I am not able to get my workout in at 5am due to Keiths travel). All these bags need to be ready to go and basically lined up like a military camp, so that i don't have to think about it in the morning -to minimize the crazy (which there is always a healthy dose of that to go around every morning anyway). Ok so stuff lined up and packed-now I need a final work check of email/vmx to make sure i am not missing anything critical ...which, I have no idea why I think that I would -but it's my anxiety of not knowing....thats about work hour 14 of the day...finally some sleep...zzzzzzzzzz

So the day starts (earlier than I even want to share)-I get ready in a flash with suit, ponytail and a little makeup and off to school the kiddies go by 730 and I am on my way for the day-this particular day Keith was traveling so my workout would have to wait until pm-otherwise I like to get that stuff done at 5am before my body realizes wtf just happened!!!!!

so go through a long day at work-and now it's time To get in a quick run before I get bray from daycare (god, why can't they keep them till like 8???) anyhoo...I know I am on limited time So I show up at equinox and get changed as fast as I can...wishing they had a phone booth outside to change like superman bc it may be I am in the locker room and while i took painstaking detail to ensure I had the best playlist possible, I forgot the minor detail of my sports bra and socks----holy crap!!!


No sports bra for me is a serious predicament for this "D" lightful lady...good grief!!! Wtf??? Oh and I forgot this point I might as well either run in my business suit or just bag it and go get some ice cream:) but NO!!!! If I don't get this speed workout in for the week, I am screwed! So I need to make the best of it and just do it anyway...and I can't spend any more time thinking about it bc I only have so much time to begin with...  sounds glamorous, no????

I decide to go for it and just resign myself to the fact that I will have blisters and my chest ...well...that's just gonna be a hot mess...literally. The good news is that I have several good tunes to take my mind off all of this madness...let's go..

So I decide that I am going to play a game and do a 6mile speed workout as fast as I can....with half and quarter mile repeats.

So about halfway in, my heart rate is 182 (yeah, I remembered my hr monitor but forgot my bra...don't judge me!!!) and I am Getting faster ...but I am thinking that this no sports bra situation is getting more grave by the half mile...

I finally finish the speed workout and my first thought is that I DEFINITELY should have been a DJ bc those tunes were bad ass!!!! My second thought is that ..holy crap...that was my fastest run in a looooong time! And 3rd thought is that i do feel better that I did matter what my blistered, chaffed areas may be saying:)

Point being...there were lots of things working against me here- and after a long day of dealing with bs at work-a wardrobe malfunction was the last thing i needed...

BUT...I HAD to get this run in, and you do what you need to do to ensure it gets completed....there were 100 reasons why i could have decided to turn around and go home....but only 1 important one why I should stay and finish it...

And what I learned about myself was that the 1 is all I need:):):)

And after picking up the kids I realized that I was grateful for having done it bc my endorphins kicked in and I wasn't as nearly as annoyed as I usually am with the kids' whininess at dinner....
I say -good for them!!!!

So while there are sooooo many variables in a day...make and plan the time to do whatever exercise you love to do for at least a little while each matter what.. because in reality, the only "bad" workout is the one you choose NOT to do.  You will surprise yourself with what you can actually get done in a day...that is a promise.

 And trust me, I have enough guilt in my life, I don't need to know that I made a conscious decision to skip the workout for the day!! As an Italian, I think that is why I have so many Jewish friends- so much in common-- LOT OF FOOD, LOT OF GUILT:)

Monday, October 8, 2012

My 2 favorite girls...

So with this whole blog undertaking, I promised myself that I wouldn't be annoying to others with it, and post something every day, but today was pretty special and I had a chance to reflect a bit and thought I would share. 

Today is October 8th-  and that means that my daughter Mia turned 5 today and that also means that my best friend Lauren would have turned 36 today also.  She passed away last September from colon cancer.  And I know that stories like this one are not entirely unique, which sucks, because everyone has a story about how cancer stole someone important from them, but behind every statistic is a small army of people that don't care about all the numbers and the stats- they care that someone was taken that was entirely too important to be pulled away. Lauren was "my person" (for those Greys Anatomy fans).  So without getting into all the details, she was an inspiration to anyone who met her and for those of us lucky enough to be close to her- she was a beam of light all the time.  Not to mention that she was completely BAD ASS when it came to ANYTHING athletic- breaking swimming records left and right, 3hour marathons, Ironmans- name it- she did it and took names every time! So while 3 weeks ago we mourned her 1 year passing, TODAY I wanted to make sure I celebrated her along with Mia. 

So the morning began with a run- I put on her "Oregon track" tshirt she had given me, loaded up the ipod with some of her favorite music- Sugerland, etc- laced up the boots and off I went...I decided that instead of planning the exact distance, I would have 2 rules for the day:  I would simply run as long as my playlist and to make sure I ran the 2nd half faster than the first- (and I did have more than 3 songs just in case any of you are wondering!).  Its funny because I see a lot of people post their race or training times etc on their blog, or facebook page but its just not for me.  Nothing against them, but really, its all relative to the individual.  Don't get me wrong, I track all the shit like a nut.  Believe me, I remember my race times like I remember my college GPA, my SAT scores and my mortgage rate- thats stuff you just don't forget! But its not really important for THIS.

  I ran a route that I hadn't run since we ran it together about a month before she died (and ps- she cleaned the floor with me that day too- in case you were wondering). I hadn't run it since because for some reason I thought not running it would make me less sad- that was dumb b/c It actually felt great to be in this place- I swear I could hear us bantering back and forth, making fun of people who we saw running with all the "gear" (you know what i mean- enough water bottles around their waist for a month in a dessert and they are out for a 3mile run) and thinking about what we would eat when we were finished- it really always revolved around what food product we would reward ourselves with.  When I was battling some hills, I imagined a rope around my waist with her pulling me up, but also yelling at me for not moving my fat ass fast enough.  Aside from trying to run my best, I spent the time thinking about all the fun we had and all the dumb shit we used to do like wash down a 10mile run with a nerd rope and diet coke-- I mean,  for nutrition majors at NYU, we were really setting the bar low. But make no mistake, we were ALWAYS competing- even if we would seem super casual or cavalier about it on the surface- that was part of the fun! Not letting other people know how serious we were about it on the inside:)  So I finished the run, super sweaty, 2 rules/goals (turned out to be by longest run in recent memory) above accomplished as was left happy that I would  celebrate the life of 2 amazing people on THIS day especially. And I would in fact wash all the hard work away with my weight in chips and salsa and some trashy candy, because sometimes, that is just fun. 

But in the end, it just reminded me of how little time we actually do have with the people we love. It really sucks and  Its super cliche, but its true and I don't know if I can ever be reminded of that enough- because I am the queen of letting all the other stuff take over my day, week, month- whatever.

Which brings me back to Mia- when I got home, I wanted to make sure that she knew how she has made more of me in 5 years, than I had made of myself in the 29 before that.  And that I am so proud of the little quiet confident girl she is becoming. And that I will try to be less annoying with my work phone calls at dinner and at night.  Its not easy, right? Work is important and so is this, and it seems so easy to always prioritize the PEOPLE we love, but it isn't.  At least for me it isn't and I am not too proud to say it.  So I  need constant reminders.  She talks about Lauren all the time- because I always tell her how lucky she is to have the same bday as Lauren- she knows she is in heaven too and asks if Lauren is watching her at her soccer game or at dance. She also always asks if she can do more pushups than Lauren could- which is weird b/c its so random...  It makes me smile because I know she is watching. If Mia turns out half as good as Lauren, I will have done alright:) 

So we topped off the night with making cupcakes for school tomorrow.  Her first time- and MINE TOO because I am such a culinary genius that I have never even made freaking cupcakes-- seriously, that is BAD. But it is kinda funny.  And in case you cared, we had a little competition of whose looked better overall, with icing and sprinkles- she had 12 to do and I had 12- guess who won? I am sure its no surprise that I got beat by a 5 year old.  I just thank god that we are not in the same age group for triathalons and races-- that would be REALLY embarrassing.  Because having your kid bake better than you is not embarrassing at all:)

So CHEERS to my 2 favorite ladies- Happy Birthday:) 10.8.2012

Who would have thought my 2 favorite girls in the world would share the same special day?

Saturday, October 6, 2012

First time for everything....

Soooooo- this is my first time writing in my fresh new space...kinda feels like I am back in high school going to the prom for the first know...lots of expectations that typically fall apart...
So pay no attention to any grammatical errors  you see....remember this is for entertainment purposes...

So I will begin with my day....  With all the stuff going on at work all the time, my workouts typically happen at odd hours- but they are really important to me, so whatever time it is, it is...
I organized to meet a friend of mine for an early saturday am run...and by early, I mean about 515am- did I mention on a saturday morning? But whatever- i needed to get  in a long run and was not about to take any time away from the tiny humans- especially since its Mia's 5th bday weekend-- so 5am it was. Not that unusual for me, but after a long week-- the SATURDAY 5am in theory was super annoying.... but low and behold- i got it completed before my body actually knew what the f**k happened-- which just reinforced for me once again as to why I like to do this at the crack of dawn-- before I realize I am tired, sore, bored, whatever--- its already done!  So it was an enjoyable time with a friend and we kicked our own asses-- good way to begin the weekend:) CHECK. 
I have this half marathon in a few weeks and typically I would go out and just do the 13 on race day, no problem after only minimal "training"- but for some reason I am obsessed with running this one FASTER-- and probably part of the reason is that I have been running like sh*t all summer and I am sick and quite frankly tired of underperforming this many times in a row...its annoying.  So anyhoo..that is why I am on a mission-- I need to prove to myself that I can still kick the speed into gear a bit.  Which is interesting b/c I am probably more fit overall than I have been since I was 20, but these last few months have been plaguing me with the "just not good enough" race times I have had in the civilian military combine, tough mudder, and 4 triathalons I completed this summer- so again- ANNOYING.  

In other more important news-- my kid turns 5 on Monday....seriously???? I cannot believe that its been that long-- I certainly have more crows feet and some stretch marks to prove it actually happened- but the cliche is true-- and I won't repeat it, but you know what it is...
and I am quite proud to say that for 5 years strong- I have avoided the annoying-20kid-bday party.  In fact- we have had less than 10 people at her bday each year so far-- just family and 1-2 friends.  Its awesome actually- because in long island- bday parties are king and everyone competes for who had the best "goodie bag" or best entertainment at the party-- I say...who cares!!! They are kids-- how about a slice, a scoop of vanilla and see ya at school!!! The bday party thing is out of control here but I will save that rant for another day.... regardless- she will have a spectacularly special day and I dont need 15 other kids to give it to her. And I am so proud of the little lady she is becoming:)

 Each day that goes by I just hope that I am teaching her how to be a good, kind human being--- that is during the moments that I am not  guilt ridden for missing stuff all the time thanks to work-- but I also hope that it shows her that working really hard and trying your best all the time matters- and makes a difference..and your job is important so you better give it all you have and be lucky to have it. And despite lots of people's opinion- I am convinced that you simply cannot have it all in this crazy doesn't exist--so I sleep better at night knowing that I am not chasing some dream that I am just a little short of reaching each night....I lay down knowing that I did all I could for that given day..and that is a hell of a lot more than I sleep pretty well...

....alright...and that brings my first official blog to a close....disjointed, probably.